He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
