Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
