I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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