Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
