Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
