seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
