is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
