so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
