I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
