I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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