I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
