Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
