I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
