I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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