And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
