Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just found puke in my bra..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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