Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
