So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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