And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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