I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i will never coherently bang her
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
