So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
