operation harelip BJ is a go
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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