If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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