For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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