Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
