I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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