This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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