i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it was like eating out sand paper
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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