if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
