Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She needs sedatives and a leash
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
