I heard we made out
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
