would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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