Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
