I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
