Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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