just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
