check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
