On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
