I don't usually arrange sex via text message
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
