Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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