oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
