I wish I only lived at night.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
