So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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