Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
