yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We had sex on a dog bed..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
