Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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