Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
