there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My penis needs a shock collar
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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