Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
