Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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