when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
What a dumb baby whore.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
