its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
only you would photoshop your dick
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
