If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize