theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize