The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
