Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize