his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
