I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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