At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
