I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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