On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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