we have pet lesbian snakes
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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