you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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