Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
