So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
