going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize