i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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