And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
