I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
