It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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