How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
