HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
