So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
